Commando

“An androgynous boy wanders around the beaches, and these middle-aged men keep coming on to him. And every time they touch him, he turns around and blows them away with a .44 Magnum. I was eighteen years old, I was from Texas, and everything had to blow up real good or it wasn’t a movie.”
– Bill Paxton, on Death Wish in Venice, a super 8 film he made with a friend in high school

Arnold Schwartzenegger stars as a retired commando who’s forced to do one last job when his daughter is kidnapped…

I saw this movie back when it first came out, and two things about it stuck in my mind. One was the scene where Arnold lands his float plane off the beach of a small island, then strips down to his shorts, apparently for the express purpose of showing off his rippling muscles as he rows to shore, where he puts his clothes back on and proceeds to kill another 150 guys or so.

The other thing that stuck in my mind was the body count. This movie was made at the height of action movie excess, and I don’t think it was ever topped in sheer number of dead guys. The first body hits the ground before the opening credits end, and they keep flying every which way until the final credits roll.

As a Bill movie, it’s pretty insignificant. Bill plays a Coast Guard officer who’s trying to order Arnold’s plane out of a restricted area, and while he looks very pretty in his white uniform, his entire role doesn’t last more than a minute or two.


Minimal screen time, very minor role – the only thing to recommend it to Bill fans is the Man in Uniform effect.

Two stars – it’s mostly standard action movie fare, but has its flashes of humor. And if you like Arnold Schwartzenegger, he’s very buff and studly here.

Dead or Alive?