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Take Me To Your Leader

Spike makes a new friend. Buffy/X-Files crossover.


Disclaimer: Not mine. No infringement intended.

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There were two of them coming down the alley, both slinking quiet-like and imagining they weren’t being seen. Spike felt one corner of his mouth curl into a smile, as he waited for the first one to get close enough. Big, he was. Built like a block of wood. He’d be a good meal.

Spike stepped out into the alley as the big man passed. The man froze, suddenly motionless, as if he were a machine and someone had flipped the switch. His pale brown eyes fixed on Spike’s. His broad face was expressionless.

“‘Scuse me,” Spike said. “I’ll just be eating you now.”

The man’s mouth twisted in what might have been a smile. He didn’t otherwise move.

“Dumb as a post, I see. Well, no matter.” Spike shot out an arm, grabbed the man by the back of the head, and leapt forward, teeth fastening on the man’s throat. He bit hard, anticipating the hot, sweet flow of blood…

“Ow!” Spike pushed the man away, spitting, wiping at his burning mouth. “Bloody hell! What the… ?” He swallowed, coughed, swallowed again. Whatever he’d just drunk a mouthful of, it wasn’t blood. Not thick red human blood, anyway. He stared at the man, who continued to smile stupidly at him. Something green and foamy dripped down his neck.

At last the man moved—to reach out one tree-like arm and snatch Spike by the throat, lifting him easily off the ground and slamming him against the wall.

Sometimes not having to breathe was a handy thing. Spike was in no danger of strangling, but the man’s thick fingers digging into his neck hurt, and he wasn’t very fond of being held in the air by something he couldn’t eat. He swung his fists at the man’s chest, trying valiantly to swear at him through his constricted throat.

There was a flicker of a shadow behind the man, and suddenly his eyes widened and his grip loosened and they were both falling. Spike landed neatly on his feet, however, while the strange green-blooded bloke continued to sink all the way to the ground, where he promptly dissolved into a nasty puddle of green goo.

Standing behind the puddle was the second man, an intense-looking chap in black leather, with startling green eyes and a mean-looking ice pick in his gloved hand. This one had expressions on his face: a slight curl of distaste at the corner of his mouth as he regarded the foaming puddle of green goo at his feet, and dark satisfaction in those great big eyes. He looked up from the puddle to stare at Spike, ice-pick weapon still held ready.

“What the bloody hell was that?” Spike demanded. Some kind of demon, he supposed, but he wasn’t very thrilled with the idea of a demon that looked and smelled just like a human but was full of green acid.

“Alien,” the leather boy replied matter-of-factly. His voice was low and smoky. “What the hell are you?”

“Vampire,” Spike answered.

Leather boy’s mouth quirked into a brief smile. “Vampire, huh? Mulder’d love it.”

“Who’s Mulder? Who are you? And what the bloody hell’s an alien doing in my alley?”

“Trying to take over the world. I’m Krycek. And Mulder’s… a long story.”

Green-blooded aliens taking over the world? Well, why not? It had been a slow week. So now what? He was still hungry, and this one looked human enough. But… “So what would that mean, aliens taking over the world?”

“It would mean everybody like that.” The toe of leather boy’s boot touched what was left of the rapidly-disappearing green puddle. “The few humans left rounded up and enslaved.”

“Everybody like them? They don’t taste very good.”

“No sense of humor, either.”

Spike frowned at the remains of the alien. He’d get awfully hungry if these were all there were to eat. “Any chance of stopping them?”

Leather boy’s smile turned cold and downright scary. In a good way. “I’m working on it.”

Spike’s face softened as he smiled back. “Why don’t you buy me a drink and tell me all about it?” He stepped over the puddle, put a hand on leather boy’s arm, and began to lead him out of the alley. He’d have to stop somewhere along the way for a bite to eat… this bloke didn’t look inclined to be squeamish about that, though. And what about the Slayer? Did her job include slaying aliens who were trying to take over the world? Well, wait and find out what sort of thing leather boy had going on before deciding whether to involve the Slayer.

Spike grinned happily to himself. Time he stopped moping around after Dru and got himself a new hobby. Killing aliens—that could be fun. “Got another one of those ice pick things?”

Leather boy smiled. Those eyes of his were really something—a bloke could drown in them. “I can get you one.”

“Good.” Yeah, this could be a lot of fun.


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